Friendship Breakups - The Hardships and Moving on

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When a friendship ends it can feel just as bad as a broken heart.

Words by Jess Morcom

When you’re young and in your early twenties everyone talks about relationships and how awful it can feel when one ends. Heartbreak, it’s inevitable, but everyone fails to mention a similar pain. These are also the years when you start to realise who your real friends are, and when a friendship ends it can feel just as bad as a broken heart.

At this age the years of studying are over for most people. Unless you have gone on to do a masters, all the education based friends that you’re forced to see every day in every lecture and classes are no longer. The friendships you go on to keep are the ones you’ve made the effort to keep. However, as time goes on we can come to realise that some friends aren’t necessarily who we thought they were. People will let you down and that is just the way life goes sometimes.

Unfortunately I am one of those sensitive people who takes it way too personally when someone doesn’t turn out to be who I thought they were. I’ve experienced a few instances where friends have let me down, which has ended in me sitting and dwelling on it for days. Why have they said this? Why didn’t I mean more to them? What did I do wrong? Sometimes the feeling of a friend becoming an ex friend is painful, especially for the typical over thinker like myself, but that was when I started to realise that anyone that hurts you is not a real friend and they never were. This is the harsh reality of it and that’s okay. Throughout your life not everyone is going to stick by you, not everyone is going to like you and certainly not everyone is going to treat you the way you should be treated.

I have recently thought to myself just how much time I have wasted feeling hurt by someone that did not deserve to come into my life and dull my shine. “Falling out” with friends used to be one of my worst fears, but now I realise this is not the right way to look at it. More often than not, as friends, you have simply just outgrown each other.

So it’s now that I’m slowly realising its time to stop worrying and time to start appreciating those around me that are worth worrying about. Worrying about things and people you can’t change is draining and time wasting.  If someone has decided they don’t have time for you anymore, let them go. If someone wants to leave your life, let them, but most importantly, don’t always blame yourself. Growth is a part of life and sometimes growth involves letting people go.

More often than not, as friends, you have simply just outgrown each other.

I know I may struggle to follow my own advice into the future but for now this is what I’m baring in mind - Life really is too short to be spending time trying to chase that friend that’s upset you more times than they’ve made you happy just because you don’t want to lose them. Life is too short to be hassling someone to meet up when they have clearly moved on from the chapter of their life that you were involved in. You wouldn’t chase a relationship forever, so why a friendship?